Who is Felicity?

I'd like to introduce you to Felicity. Felicity is a construct in my mind, a character from a bygone era, with the energy and exuberance of youth:

"Felicity is a symbol of confidence, of capability and competence. Those are the attributes that I have seen slip away through recent years and in their place are whispers from an imposter."

Karen Honnor - An Imposter Whispers 2025

She's made appearances within my books before, but this time I chose for her to introduce my latest book under the heading 'Felicity has Fallen.' I think she symbolises the parts of my youth that I'd like to be able to revisit. Of course, we can never go back for we too have changed, along with all of the circumstances that created a moment that we have come to treasure through the lens of time. Yet, if I could be in that mindset again, even for a while, I wonder what I would be able to achieve.

Posted on Instagram now featured in 'An Imposter Whispers' 2025

Self-doubt seems to spread easily within my midlife years, doubts about my abilities, doubts or second guessing about past choices that I made and then, if I let those gather momentum, choices I might make for now and in the future. These doubts have definitely left dents in the misshapen body that I now inhabit. This process goes someway to explaining why it has taken me a long time to be back in the position of launching a book again, but somehow I have managed to get here.

When putting a poetry book together, I have found my own method and format which partly involves combining certain poems under one umbrella heading or theme. Once I have found the themes that seem to be emerging for the book content, I have developed the habit of looking for quotations to accompany each theme. I hope readers find it informative. I don't know if they do, but I like to feel that each quote I select is meaningful as a window into my mindset at the time and at encapsulating the themes to follow. Amongst all the doubts that kept resurfacing as I wrote and compiled this latest book, the quote below that I stumbled across felt particularly meaningful to me:

"It's not what you are that holds you back, it's what you think you are not."

Denis Waitley

There's been a lot going on for us as a family since the last time that I published a book. Personally, I think I just shut down that side of me. People asked me what I was working on, with the obvious implication that they expected me to be writing. I just wasn't in a place mentally to be writing. I found excuses, other things to be doing, big family events that required my attention - all valid circumstances for this but also a way to avoid confronting the blank page issue. The more the notebooks sat there with blank pages, the easier it became to leave them in the drawer and to shut down that creative corner of my mind. I was allowing the imposter whispers to become a roar and when that's the case, the easiest course of action is to just slam the door shut in an attempt to ignore them.

But then, at calm moments within the chaos of life, a little creativity would emerge. I guess it's impossible to shut that down completely. I returned to my notebooks, grabbing odd moments to jot down my rambling thoughts and as I did so, the persona of Felicity kept focusing in my mind. I thought of the times that she had danced on stage, giggled with friends, or had ideas that she was too strong-willed to let go of. I wondered if the spirit of Felicity should be allowed to soar again. I mean, could I write another whole book? Then, the thought that took shape was this -

"You know what? Let's f***ing try!"

Much of what my Felicity persona symbolises is freedom. Somehow as adults, perhaps I should quantify that as being ageing adults, we lose our ability to be free, both physically and intellectually. Expectations about having to be sensible adults, the sane ones in the room, negate the values of a little spontaneity and the positive impact of feeling free enough to explore ideas. I might not be joining in the Charleston with Felicity at a cocktail bar but I have allowed myself to be playing with words again. I am grateful that when I tried to express some of this and how the concept of Felicity is intrinsically woven into my book, the wonderful Dreena Collins completely got it. She not only converted it all into my book cover design but she created this lovely image for me. Next time I am at the beach, perhaps I should give myself (and Felicity) the permission to feel free enough to recreate this - what do you think?